Anonymity

The beautiful thing about this blog is that no one has read it, so far. At some point I will tell someone about it and then fear the judgement I might receive. Not that I have written anything SO revealing (that's saved for my personal journal that NO ONE will ever see), it's just I keep spilling my feelings onto this blog. There is something about placing this anonymously out on the internet, with the possibility of being discovered. It's almost as if I'm begging for someone to hear me, understand me. The real me. Who is that you ask?

I am.....a bleeding heart. I try to hold it in, but fail miserably. I wish to feel deeply, love deeply
and sometimes think no one (no man) has the capability of having
feelings like I do. I know men and women are different, but I have to
believe there is a man who is passionate like I am.
I am.......terrified. Terrified that I am not good enough. I put on a good front. I come across as
the confident, independent, intelligent woman who can handle anything.
Just so everyone knows, I don't have it together most of the time. I don't
have a clue what I'm doing and often go with my heart (see above).
Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.
I am.....hopeful. Hopeful I will find what I am looking for. I'm not just referring to a partner in
life. I'm referring to finding the balance of my entire life. Some people
might think I am going through some kind of "thrisis" (google it...it's a real
thing). Maybe I am. If that's what it takes for me to find contentment, I'm
okay with that label.

I am.......so many more things I can't even begin to describe.
I am......a work in progress and I don't plan on retiring anytime soon.